जश्न-ऐ-ज़िंदगी

बेरंग सी ज़िंदगी में कुछ रंग भरता चलू,

राह मिली तितलियों के संग चलता चलू |

मन में चल रहें गीत को सुंदर सुर देते हुये , 

दिल की धड़कनो से संगीत लेते हुये ,

गा दूं फिर कुछ ऐसा तराना …. 

के हारी हुई बाज़ी को भी जीत के शिकंजे में लेता चलू | 

रूखी सी रातों में उम्मीद पास हैं, 

सुबह की ताजा किरणों की आस साथ हैं | 

तूफानो में भी कश्ती साहिल को चूम ले, 

बरबादीयों में भी फ़क़ीर झूम ले | 

बस कुछ ऐसा ही जज्बा संग लेते हुये, 

जश्न हैं ये ज़िंदगी … 

इस जश्न को मैं हर पल जीता चलू !! 

A Never-ending Mile

Sky of thousand shades has crowned the shore,

As I walk with the Princess I truly adore.

My heart skips a beat, and it slowly begins to melt,

Even the Sun seems today reluctant to set.

Golden strands of silky hair fly and kiss my face,

Leaving me in spell with her fragrance and the grace.

Blaming the breeze, she tucks them at her ear,

And looks away blushing when I whispered ‘once more’

So from the corner of the eyes some glances I sneak,

Ah! Cherry on top of the cake is the dimple on her cheek.

On ticklish wet sand, we print stamps of our feet,

Waves embrace the prints, and are overwhelmed to meet.

Soon fingers brush fingers, and eyes meet eyes,

Like the most-awaited merger of two passionate tides.

Locking our hands, on lips gentle smile,

Together we walk a never-ending mile...

P.S. And that’s precisely when my Mom pulled the blanket off me and woke me up. Morning!

The Eleventh Hour Adventure!

10:46 pm

Feb 07,2011

Solapur.

It was the wedding night of Nishit’s mota bhai. After regalling on around fifty items of mouth-watering (..perhaps ‘tongue-melting’ ! It was a typical Gujju ceremony afterall.) ambrosia, we were all primed to return back to Pune. Nishit, by all his flaunting, made sure that he remains to be a bothered host till the moment he greets adieu to our overstuffed bellies. So he arranged a car for us to the station. Throwing our bags into the backseats, we crammed ourselves in the fronts. To mention, we were seven plus one the driver (aka Dragon!!!). Arpan (Netaji), being the last to enter in, promptly placed his right butt on my left thigh & his left on Ankit’s right lap. Resisting this surfeit burden, Ankit & me shared a glance and punched into Arpan’s bums-almost simultaneously! Our train was scheduled to depart at 11:30 pm. So the obvious discussion in the car was how to spend that half an hour at the station. In goes that tobacco in driver’s mouth and there starts the car!

The car once started and just kept on accelerating, as if it’s not going to halt till it notes on its account an incredible Hollywood-style accident. The turns that the driver took were so sharp & sudden that it could have demoralized any NFS freaks around.

‘Fuck! Is this driver drunk?,’Ankit exclaimed.

I gently patted his head and assured,'No dude, we all are in our last stage of pregnancy and the driver is rushing us to the Hospital!’

By now, Arpan had unknowingly started giving me a nasty lap-dance. I threw him off in Ankit’s lap.

I was terribly frightened. I asked Rishi to talk to the driver before he settles us into a ‘Wrong Station’.

‘Uncle, we are in no hurry. It’s OK if you just slow it down a bit..,’asked Rishi in the most careful words.

No answer. No effect.

Not being able to control, I screamed hitting the driver’s shoulder,’Uncle..are u listening! Just slow down !!!’

He didn’t. But my high pitch somehow succeeded in breaking his deafening silence. The driver cursed in frustration that he was already late to reach his boss by complete one hour, plus to add, an extra burden drive for us to the station. He banged his grip on the steering before demonstrating us how to make a right angle on a fortunately vacant turn!

The fact that we now were just few kilometres away from the station gave us a much needed relief from the terrifying fear and the futile efforts of pacifying the Dargon!

‘Just check the tickets and the timing before we get down once,’conveyed Shahbaz.

‘Don’t worry..,’ replied Prasanna’s voice.

That implied the tickets were booked by him & the tone suggested that it was just too foolish to question his credentials. But you never know when the smartest can slip. Pulling out his wallet, he threw the tickets to Shahbaz.

Last three kilometres to the station.The only thing running onto our minds was to get out of this die-ride as soon as possible and show some middle-finger-gratitude to this maniac driver. And all to our surprise, Shahbaz screamed,'Guys fuck!! The train departs at 11!!!’

‘What! Elevennnnnnn!!! ,’we all shouted together in utter astonishment.And it was this moment where the drama all began.

Shahbaz and Prasanna shared a look.

Prashant snatched the tickets and read in ‘speed-drop’ silence,'Solapur-Pune. . . .Platform 5. . .11:00 pm. . .Fffffffff!!!!’

I pulled and twisted Prashant’s wrist to see that it was already10:58:09.

Before we could react more, I shook the driver's shoulders,with both hands this time and yelled something he might had least expected from any of us. I screamed,'Uncle fast! ..aur fast!! The train is leaving!!!’

We were all set like a cat ready to jump as the driver put in the entire boost.

Breaking the permissions, the driver took us directly into the corridors of the station. The doors opened well before the car halted. Pulling our bags out, we rushed out of the car. I was the last to exit. Though in hurry and despite of suffering the earlier blows, I couldn’t resist thanking the driver for his excellent job and obedience at the end. Would he be the Saviour for us, time will decide, or precisely, next 52 seconds...

Shaking the driver’s hand, I followed the shouts,’Gaurav move..fast!’

Climbing onto the stairs,we ran past the platorms, getting down on the fifth. Hell! The train was not there on the platform. The train had already left and all we could see were just the last few wheels of the train. It was speeding-up quite faster than usual.

‘Guys! I say RUNNNN!!!,’ clamoured Prashant, and he had already begun the catch.

We all ran towards the last bogie-the Guide Bogie, as if we were rescuing ourselves from some wild tiger which was not following us. We were reaching the bogie but it kept on moving ahead, almost every time. A bald man in blue coat, with his stern look & posture appeared at the entrance of the bogie. He must be the Guide of that bogie. After realizing the panic we were in, he signalled us to be careful & waved a green flag for getting in. Prashant jumped in first & he stood at the door to fetch us in. One by one, we all got in, as the train by now,had picked up real fast.

Uhhh...What a moment that was! What a feeling!

There was a laugh on every face panting for breath. I gave Prashant a big high-five & hugged him tightly. .what followed next in the bogie were more high-fives, and more hugs! We never dreamt that the night was going to be this thrilling and adventurous for us. What a sense of achievement it was! For the next few minutes, we just laughed looking at each other. J

I stood near the door and closed my eyes. The breeze dried my sweat splashing a cool wave through my body. I was letting in that moment to seep inside my nerves and keep that youth alive for the rest of my life. It was simply amazing how the minutest of negligence can end up gifting you the most cherishable moment. It wasn’t the moment to recall that ‘we would have missed the train’ but to cherish ‘we would have missed this adventure if we were another minute late.’ Should that fast & ferocious driver be blamed now? What if Shahbaz was not that careful to confirm the timing? What if he was a minute late to recheck the tickets? A giggle played on my lips when every laughter around ceased. I opened my eyes...

Next morning, as we reached Pune station, I saw Nishit’s message flashing on my cellphone’s screen.

It said, ‘Hope you guys had a great time.’

The sporting smile on my face said it all. . .

I want to commit suicide but...

Everything f**ked up! Wherever I see, I see bullshit all around... I bang my fist on the table. How can life be so cruel to me? I walk through the broken brown pieces of glass on the floor. Those pieces of glass have something very alike to the condition of my heart. They are hurting my bare feet. I don't notice. I am devastated. In my hand I find the easiest way to get rid of this agony- 9 sleeping pills… The city with golden streets has started appearing blurred to me. I wipe my eyes. Guess what! This is for the last time I would be crying. I smile. But then, is this for the last time I would be smiling too? My feet resist moving ahead. And I realize that I've collided against the window. The incessant rain and thunderstorm were both testing the strength of helpless trees. But still the lashing wind failed to dry my tears. One pathetic sight slowed down my heavy panting till my hands reached to wipe my tears. A mother wailing over the death of her little puppy, desperately trying to keep its dead body warm, in futile hope to hear its heartbeat just one more time…

Mom. They are all the same for their kids. Be it the case of the dead puppy or the dying me. Kind, loving and always worried about her little ones. Even a bruised knee of her baby can set her heart into agony. Sacrifice is just what she has been doing for the happiness of her little children. Had promised myself to fulfill her every single wish when I came to know that my first college fees were the result of my Mom's sacrifice, when she mortgaged all her gold. Never did she have a single drop of tear, but the brightness of her son's future in those gleaming eyes. A pill slips away from my fist…

A pillar of strength and solidarity is what makes a family complete along with the bonding of emotions. My father, a person who always has a dream woven into his eyes to see his son as a successful human being. He has spent his entire life in making the things easier for me, so that his son wouldn't face those challenges of life he went through at his stage. I want to see my dad proud. Pill no. 2 falls down.

And how can I forget that I've a little brother too, to whom I'm no less than a father and as good as a friend. That little boy would go mad and get crushed if the support to his roof collapses. I want to see him in the attire he, as a child, always fantasized of. A white apron with a stethoscope hanging down his neck. So is the case with my old Grandma, of whom I'm the summer smile and winter warmth, who used to stay awake throughout the night telling stories and lullabies. I've promised her a trip in an airplane with my very first salary, for which she eagerly awaits. Two more pills join the pieces of broken glass...

Friends. Friends again, who are with you all along the autumns & blossoms of our life would never like to remember a guy who always laughed and made them laugh, left them in between just so mercilessly. Am I really that cruel to turn their laughs into cries? Won't this step of me make them hate all those fun-filled moments and blissful joy we enjoyed together? I need to stay for them. My fist now encloses five sleeping pills. Along with these blessings-like friends, I'm a part of someone's breaths and beats too. It would be so unfair on her part if she finds me missing forever, leaving her cellphone with the photographs of all the lovely times we spent together, and heart with a never-ending pain. It would be such an inhuman deed to destroy the life of the person who made you experience all the colorful music and musical colors, showing you how beautiful this life is! I love her, and one more pill escapes my loosening fist.

I walk to the next window. I get a closer look of the heart-broken mother on her puppy's death. She kept on trying, trying till the end. She fought for the life of her baby, though she herself was aware of that bitter fact. A beat of hope was all she desired- A life for her puppy. Have I also fought with life with such an instinct? Ain't I too carried away that even an approaching ray of hope would run away? I close my eyes. With a deep breath, a pill escapes from my hand.

I open my eyes to realize that that the dark clouds have parted away.Darkness engulfs me no more. The storm and rain have both subsided into stillness and peace. The 'helpless' trees were now once again standing tall and strong on their firm-rooted base. The ethereal moon-light brought with itself a lesson to learn: Time, good or bad, never lasts for eternity. One just has to stay firm and strong like the trees. The fighting spirit needs to be kept alive & put in the efforts till the end, even if you feel sure you are going to lose anyway, and that’s when destiny may surprise you. When you are badly tested by the circumstances, that itself is an indication that the goal is nearby. Just keep going with patience beyond those dark clouds. The darkest hour of the night is always followed by brightness. One more pill betrays my fist, two left…

I walk through the room. Moonlight follows. Closing my eyes I lean on the armchair. I think nothing for a while. I am not playing a game of cowards. I won't surrender until this life breaks me into tiny pieces and life in each piece surrenders. Introspecting, I suddenly realize I'm weeping, silently. The warmth of the tear rolling down my cheek makes me realize the value of tears- The tears of my loved ones which will flow when I'm gone. Looking down at the imprint of the teardrop, I see two sleeping pills lying besides the chair. I looked at my hand, open…empty.

I took this as a sign. A sign from God, motivating me to carry on. Life has its share of challenges. What matters is my outlook towards those, whether I perceive them as boulders or gateways. No. I decided. I will not allow situations in life to change the way I think. Situations are meant to be created, not to be accepted the way they are.

I wanted to commit suicide but...a New Life has just begun….

“Life, I challenge you to try me

Doom me to unending pain,

Stay my hand, becloud my vision,

Break my heart, and then, again…

Shatter every dream I've cherished,

Fill my heart with ruthless fear,

Follow every smile that cheers me,

With a bitter, blinding fear

Thus I can dare you- You can try me

Seek to make me cringe and moan

Still my unbound soul defies you,

I will withstand you- and ALONE."

Turning 20 !

14^th of Feb again.. and I can feel my excitement reaching its peak. Every round of clock is adding to my joy and thus to my impatience as well. Because just few hours from now, its my BIRTHDAY ! I am swinging on the colorful ribbons of my thoughts. The balloons filled with jubilation are soon going to burst, showering down the sparkles of smiles, phone calls, hugs and blessings (What? B’day bumps too!) It’s the 20^th one, but even this year’s cake would be flavored with a child-like enthusiasm. After all, why shouldn’t the day on which you breathed your first, opened your tiny little eyes to see this big and beautiful world be celebrated !

But stepping into the twenties doesn’t really sound so good if it implies an end to your childhood and teenage. Isn’t this just the perfect moment to have a flashback of the first two decades of your life? The cup of coffee over the table appreciates the thought. When I look back, I see the carefree mind of a kid taking over his bruised knees. The art of getting a wish fulfilled from Dad had undoubtedly overtaken Mom’s scolding. It’s hard to sketch with words the heavenly delight I felt when I, for the first time, paddled my cycle completely on my own ! Neither I can describe ‘the feel’ when I got my first ever jeans. How can I miss out to mention my first attempt at poetry(..horrible and hilarious..a truly nonsense one!) Had fallen for the wrong ones and struggled to impress the ‘Right’s. But it’s the waiting and the urge to catch a glimpse of the gal you had crush upon is what you remember, not the faces of their bfs ;-) Had slipped on few occasions too, but it’s the building time is what I admire, not the breaking. For a moment, the coffee tasted bitter.

It’s impossible to long for those times again, but this period have gifted me many friends who I know are going to last forever and who’ll help me to revive the pleasant past. The coming decade is going to be a deciding one in many respects. I wish it to be a positive one with all the twists and turns to add to its thrill. Now it’s the time to see the dreams getting realized. Lets give in the best, and hope for the best too.

The last sip of coffee was delayed by Mom’s phone call. She said (instructed),”I want my boy to look the best on his birthday. Have a shave. No beards.” With a smile I repeat to myself, ’Beards..’ Even they say, ‘Dude, you are turning 20!’

Last sip in. Happy Birthday to Me.

From C to CC

A blank blue screen in my Computer Lab,

Kept staring at me..and I was having a nap.
One crazy pixel hit my head,
Said "Someone is behind boy," and I was dead !!!

Fixing my specs, ‘# include’ I say,
I pick up few 'arrays' to find my way.
Loops of nested ‘for’s..Oh my head they spin,
Thank God I wasn’t thrown in the Recycle Bin.

Not before the puzzle in my head reach its peak,
The shy logic of my code appears to click.
Why can’t ‘C’ be as simple as it sounds,
The sharp pricks of 'pointers' gave me wounds...

My eyes traverse the screen for a ray of hope,
With the saviour ‘getch()’, all the worries will elope.
The smile on my face says the code will be fine,
But the story goes otherwise after ‘Alt F9 ’.

The clock blushed and said,"I’m quarter past three."
I gave her a wink coz finally I was free.
From C to CC- time to switch my gear
To hunt for some ‘OUTPUT’, I must set my hair ;-)

[...dedicated "From Me to Me" ;-)..]

The One Revengeful Sword

Mind keeps on wandering in the mall of words,
They become thoughts and hit me like the swords.
Why can't life be 'so simple' and nice ?
Curbing my true calling, why I have to think twice ??

Searching for some joy in the confused state of mind,
Books turn in front of me, but why love is blind ?
Someone wants me to work so hard,
But my heart revolves around my first valentine card :-)

I step into the class with 'determined' mind to study,
My eyes search for her..disregarding everybody.
How perfectly I nod after teacher's "understood?,"
'Honey calling' on my cell freshens up my mood.
I turn back to catch a glimpse of her,
Chemistry in my upper beaker how well she stir..!!! ;-)

With just the way it is, Life goes on,
With every happiness 'in' me, all fears have gone.
Said me someone, the real meaning of love,
An impetus to achieve your goals, that surrounds your glove.

But in the absence of 'My Impetus', anxiety grip my legs,
My blood cease to flow, or recede into my pegs.
Then I realize I'm no way dependent on her,
But also can be independent, I never wanted to err :-(

Lost in the memories of my very first romance,
Want to start it from the first, wish i had one more chance.
Holding her hand, walk in the garden of rose,
Every stupidity of me made her tease my nose.

Let me live my world, make my own paradise,
Where joy covers me fitting in all size.
Let me fly high, just soar like a bird,
Let me make it mine- "The One Revengeful Sword" !